Paris Hilton for President

Yes, that was nearly the funniest thing I ever saw. You wait while she finishes reading her magazine story. You're happy to wait. We've waited eight years for a real president, why not wait 10 seconds for Paris to finish skipping over the big words?

Let me tell you what offended me about that dopey John McCain ad (the one that featured Paris and Britney and tries to lump them all into one big ball of superficial silliness). Here's the problem ... while Paris was born into wealth and privilege, the other two - quite conspicuously -- were not.

I will not be voting for Britney on my Mommy-of-the-year ballot, but unlike Sen. McCain, she's made every penny she has, she's met a payroll, bumped and ground her way to international stardom and great wealth. She wasn't born into the Navy and didn't marry a millionaire.

Hmm. there's a thought for an Obama ad ... John & Cindy McCain ... Who wants to marry a millionaire? John McCain!

Like Britney, Obama did not open his trust fund and find tuition money for Columbia and Harvard, but he apparently found his way in and out of those institutions, only recently paying off his student loans. He didn't marry a millionaire, but he did find his way to a distinguished Princeton (cum laude) and Harvard Law graduate, Michelle Obama.

And for the self-described "family values" crowd, let's recall that the McCains began their relationship as an extramarital affair while McCain was still married to his first wife -- the one who waited for him while he was a POW. Let's hope that sometime between now and November, in front of MANY cameras, someone asks McCain if he really thinks gay marriage is a bigger threat to the American family than heterosexual adultery.